In the year 2017, Donald Trump, (who will be referred to as Tangerine Toddler from this point on) became our President. And while those of us who were sane mourned the fact that he’d be our “leader” for the next four years, others of us were having meet and greets and taking pictures with him like he was our play cousin. To take it a step further, some of us even agreed to perform at his inaugaration. *enters Chrisette Michelle*
The great prophet Puff Daddy P. Diddy Sean Combs warned us back in 2009 of the b*tchassness epidemic sweeping the nation-unfortunately, none of us took him seriously. Almost a decade later, here we are, glued to our phones, watching Chris Brown and Soulja Boy threaten each other across the interwebs. In our defense, who among us could’ve ever predicted n*ggas would take it this far? We’re sorry, Puff.
Last week, the rapper formerly known as Bow Wow made what I assume he thought would be an earth shattering announcement-he was leaving the rap game for good. And while Bow Wow may have actually been really upset and emotional about the whole thing, most of us found the “breaking news” to be quite comical.
(Feb. 18, 2009 – Source: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images North America)
I love Mary J Blige. She is the “Queen of Hip Hop Soul,” the title bestowed upon her by Sean “Puffy” “Puff” “Diddy” “P. Diddy” Combs, himself. Growing up in the mean streets of Yonkers, New York, Mary has always had a little edge-but that’s why we love her. She’s genuine. She’s relatable. And she makes good music.
Steph and Ayesha Curry met at the Central Church of God in Charlotte, North Carolina when they were teens. They’re like the Cosby family of professional sports. By the grace of God, they’ve managed to stay scandal free throughout Curry’s amazing career. Ayesha Curry spends her free time making fresh squeezed lemonade and baking cakes with their adorable daughter, Riley (who may or may not be more famous than both of them combined). This week, however, the Internet was ready for a scandal. They’d had enough of this picture perfect family, they wanted the DIRT.
When I first heard of Prince’s passing, I was on vacation in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I hadn’t really been paying much attention to social media, or national news for that matter. I was too busy taking in the amazing scenery-and the amazing alcohol. But one morning, I woke up and decided to check my news feed just to see what I’d been missing. An avid social media user, I could only go so long without logging in. Like most people, I wasn’t at all prepared for what I saw next. Reports that legendary singer Prince had died in the elevator of his Paisley Park compound left me numb. This couldn’t be true.
It hurts me to have to write this. For a second there, I thought about just shutting off my computer, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write an article calling Erykah Badu out on her sh*t. Some of you may remember just last week, I wrote a piece praising Badu for dropping gems back in the day. But, oh, what a difference a tweet makes.
Six years ago, Chris Brown and then girlfriend Rihanna made headlines after a picture of a bruised and battered Rih Rih hit the internet. The on again, off again couple had reportedly been engaged in a heated exchange that turned violent, leaving Rihanna in very bad shape. Naturally, in the age of social media, the picture went viral, and while most of us have moved on, the truth is, none of us have forgotten.
Early this morning, many of us got the news that rapper Phife Dawg, of the legendary group A Tribe Called Quest had gone on to Hip Hop Heaven. *Don’t question me, I’m sure that’s where he is. Most of us were overcome with a range of feelings-sadness, nostalgia, disbelief.
But me? I was mostly sad for another reason. Sure, I felt a void, knowing that Phife Dawg would never write another rhyme or bless another mic, but there was something bigger than that-I was mourning Hip Hop.
The internet exploded last Friday when we learned that Russell Wilson and Ciara had gotten engaged. After having dated for nearly two years, the couple is finally ready to make it official. We’ve all been sitting around, watching their every move, wondering when Russell was going to pop the question. The two had been practicing celibacy, and the truth is, we all wondered when they’d give in to the sin of the flesh. As far as we know, there hasn’t been any skin to skin action. Now, they’re happily celebrating their engagement. And boooy it’s really pissing the F*ckboys of America off.