5 Things Besides Hot Sauce Hillary Clinton Carries in Her Bag

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton ajusts headphones at Echo Moskvy radio station Wednesday morning, Oct. 14, 2009. Clinton is wrapping up a five-day tour of Europe on Wednesday with a series of informal meetings in Moscow and the Russian republic of Tatarstan aimed at helping redefine U.S.-Russian relations. (AP Photo/ Alexander Zemlianichenko)

Hillary Clinton will stop at nothing to get the Black vote. Like most politicians, she realizes that the our vote is extremely important, and without it, she probably doesn’t stand a chance at becoming this country’s next President. What Hillary also knows is that while she pretty much has the older Black vote in the bag, that younger Black voters aren’t so easily swayed. Many Black millennials believe that Hillary lacks credibility, integrity, and authenticity, and for us, that makes her unfit to be President. Fed up with the status quo, we’re looking for someone…different. And even though we knew Hillary would say and do pretty much anything to lock in our votes, none of us were prepared for her recent interview with “The Breakfast Club.”

If you don’t know, “The Breakfast Club” is one of the most notorious urban radio shows in the history of radio shows. Mainly because of Charlamagne tha God, who’s been known to rip guests a new one whenever he’s feeling in the mood. (Basically, he’s the male version of Wendy Williams) Some of you may remember the time he made Lil Mama cry.

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I hated him for that, by the way.

Needless to say, A LOT of young Black people tune into “The Breakfast Club” on a daily basis, myself included, and would you GUESS who just happened to show up this week? Hillary IGotHotSauceinMyBagSwag Clinton.

I’m sure most of you are familiar with Beyonce’s latest, and probably most controversial song “Formation,” in which she speaks truth to power with this epic line,

“I got hot sauce in my bag swag.”

I’ll be honest-us Black people ate it up. We loved every minute of this Black ass song, because to be frank, we’d never seen Beyonce in this light. It was timely, it was important, and it was revolutionary.

But never, never in our lives did we think there would come a day when Hillary Clinton would appear on “The Breakfast Club” and tell listeners that she carries hot sauce in her bag, just like Beyonce.

Twitter reacted:

To be fair, it’s been reported that Hillary does enjoy the fiery goodness of a fresh jalapeno and a dab of hot sauce from time to time. She could very well carry hot sauce in her bag.There’s no denying that. But what we also can’t deny is that Hillary Clinton is a damn liar and should be running for the Panderer of the United States, instead of the President. Here’s the thing-nobody likes when you insult their intelligence, and that’s what Hillary has been doing to Black voters since she started campaigning.

I began to reach my limit when she showed up at BET’s “Black Girls Rock” claiming that Black girls and women had played a major role in her life, and that we were changing the world, when in fact, just a few months ago, she stood before us and refused to declare that Black Lives Matter.

This is a woman who invested in the private prison industry, an industrial complex that works very hard to imprison the same people that she claims to care about about.

So while Hillary spends her time pandering to young Black voters, instead of being herself, young Black voters have been doing our research, and we don’t care if you have hot sauce in your bag or not.

Here are 5 things that Hillary Clinton is more likely to carry in her bag than hot sauce-

  1. A gun– During her first bid for the White House eight years ago, Mrs. Clinton fashioned herself as a pro-gun, Second Amendment supporter.Via The Hill: Before attacking Sanders on guns, Clinton waged a battle for Democratic nominee against another more progressive challenger. A New York Times headline from 2008 noted that “Clinton Portrays Herself as a Pro-Gun Churchgoer,” specifically because of her fondness of faith and the Second Amendment when speaking to rural communities. She sold twice as many arms as any previous Secretary of State. She sold guns for Remington, responsible for the gun used at Sandy Hook. Hillary really likes guns.
  2. Money she isn’t paying her female staff– HRC pays the women that work for her 40% less than the men in those same positions. Girl power!
  3. B12 and Omega Fatty Acids– Everybody knows that B12 and Omega fatty acids help with memory loss. Clinton seems to need all the help she can get. Just today, (for the second time) HRC claimed to not know where Bernie Sander was when she was “trying to get health care in 93 and 94.” That’s Bernie on the right. I’m sure you all know this isn’t the only thing Hillary’s lied about during her campaign. But if Hillary truly wants to tell the truth like she claims, she’ll have these helpful vitamins in her purse and take them on a daily basis.

4. An Urban Dictionary-I mean, how the hell else is she going to know what to say next to Black voters?

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5. The Wallstreet Speech Transcripts– What do you do when you want to hide something from a man? Put it in your purse. Hillary knows that none of her opponents would ever dare to go digging in her purse, so that’s where she keeps the transcripts. Even though the public has asked Hillary to release the transcripts over and over again, she’s refused…and I think we all know why-there’s something there she doesn’t want to come out. I mean, if you were Hillary, and you were making secret speeches to people on Wallstreet (the same people you promised you’d go after if elected), and making massive amounts of money from them, what would YOU talk about? I have a sneaking suspicion that there were no talks about equality for all, fair treatment, equal pay for equal work, and I’m 110% sure she wasn’t doing the Nae Nae. Yep, the Wallstreet transcripts are in her bag. It’s almost guaranteed.

#karmajonezknows

 

 

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