There’s nothing like a good comeback story. We live for them. When Michael Jordan came back wearing the 4-5, we celebrated-Justin Timberlake, Missy Elliott, Paula Abdul (for that brief moment in American Idol history), we just can’t get enough. America absolutely LIVES for a good comeback story. And who can blame us? There’s nothing like seeing a celeb who you thought was on their very last leg, come back doing the Heisman on those h*es.THAT my friends, is why this Rob Kardashian, Blac Chyna engagement is oh, so delightful. Well, that’s one of the reasons.
Once upon a time, in a $20 million dollar home in Calabasas, California, there was a pretty wacky Brady Bunch situation happening. There were hella kids, an overzealous mother, and a passive father all living semi-happily ever after. One of those kids happens to be Kim Kardashian. And well, you know how the story goes.
But anyway, on the complete opposite side of town, there was a young woman by the name of Blac Chyna. No, that’s not her real name (it’s Angela Renee White, which is hella classy, by the way), was getting her coins by stripping and being a video girl, making her life-changing debut in her baby daddy Tyga’s video for “Rack City.”
Any-WHO, fast forward a couple of years, Blac Chyna and Kim K became BFF’s, posing for fake booty pics in mirrors all around Kim’s mansion.
Fast forward some more years and Kim K’s baby sister Kylie is dating Tyga, Blac Chyna and Kim’s friendship has been called off, and Rob Kardashian disappears from the public eye, never to be seen or heard from again, unless he’s throwing jabs at one of his sisters-mainly Kimberly.
“This is my sister Kim, the bitch from Gone Girl.”
So basically, after Chyna and Tyga broke up, and Chyna was exiled from the Kardashian Klan, she became BFF’s with Amber Rose, and they bonded by making twerk videos and doin’ all kinds of other fun things.
AND THEN just when we thought it was over for Blac Chyna and that Rob Kardashian had melted into Khloe’s rug in her basement, they both rose from the darkness like a phoenix- TOGETHER as a couple. And now…WAIT FOR IT………………they’re ENGAGED.
Now, I’m not usually a lover of mess (this is a lie), but THIS level of petty is unparalleled. If there were a Petty Olympics, Rob and Chyna would win several gold medals. In the words of the great philosopher 2Chainz, “[They] in first place. [They] in first place.”
First, let’s discuss the look on Rob’s face. This laugh comes from a dark place. Do you know just how much you have to hate your family to want to piss them off this bad? Rob Kardashian is laughing from his gut about marrying a woman that his family despises. That’s deep.
What exactly did the Kardashian Klan DO to little Robbie? Did they pull his toenails off one by one when they were kids? Did Kris write him out of the will? Were they responsible for he and Adrienne Bailon’s breakup? WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE? I guess the world will never know. But what I am 110% sure of is that this laugh is an evil one. If he had a mustache, he’d be twisting it.
Further, let me point out that if Rob and Chyna, who are now known as #BlacRob, by the way (only Hip Hop Lovers will get it), decide to procreate, and they WILL decide to procreate, that their baby will be the ONLY one of the grandkids with the “Kardashian” surname. WHOA! Now that’s, amazing.
Talk about revenge. I must confess, if and when Blac Chyna demands a $3 million dollar wedding special from Ryan Seacrest over at E!, I will be front row and center, with a big bowl of hot, buttery popcorn and a glass of the finest wine I can get my hands on. Because baybeeeee, this is some of the messiest mess I’ve seen in a while, and I simply can’t look away.
What are your thoughts on Rob and Chyna’s engagement? Comment below!