5 Responses to Ciara and Russell Wilson’s Engagement That Prove Y’all Ain’t Sh*t (And Will Be Single Forever)

Seattle Seahawks Quarterback Russell Wilson and entertainer Ciara Harris arrive for a state dinner for Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Tuesday, April 28, 2015, at the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

The internet exploded last Friday when we learned that Russell Wilson and Ciara had gotten engaged. After having dated for nearly two years, the couple is finally ready to make it official. We’ve all been sitting around, watching their every move, wondering when Russell was going to pop the question. The two had been practicing celibacy, and the truth is, we all wondered when they’d give in to the sin of the flesh. As far as we know, there hasn’t been any skin to skin action. Now, they’re happily celebrating their engagement. And boooy it’s really pissing the F*ckboys of America off.

Here are 5 responses to Russell and Ciara’s engagement that prove that y’all ain’t sh*t.

1. Because you deserve BETTER, Bro! (Only problem is, most of you can’t do better than Ciara)

2. Oh yea, he couldn’t POSSIBLY be marrying her because he wants to! It must be because he needs sex! I forgot-men can’t control their penises!

3. Because everyone knows you deserve to be put to death for asking that your child’s father help out!

4. This  makes so much sense, especially since Ciara isn’t a millionaire, or anything.

5. When all else fails, do this corny sh*t.

Strangely enough, as you guys typed these tweets from the comfort of your mother’s basement, it never occurred to you that Ciara and Russell could give two sh*ts about you. Ciara is somewhere break dancing, and Russell is somewhere online shopping for some nice oils to rub on Ciara’s body when they finally do the do. They. Rich. And. Happy.

After reading these tweets again, I realized the problem was bigger than just a little jealousy. This was BMS (Bitter Man Syndrome) at its finest. These men actually hate Ciara. They’re misogynists. They probably hate most women they come in contact with.

Sadly, they have a problem with the fact that Russell treats women with respect-something I’m sure they rarely do.Yikes.

 

*insert Oprah voice* Now here’s what I know for sure-you will NOT get ANY decent woman so long as you spend your time in your mom’s basement, leaching off her wi-fi and judging women who wouldn’t even let you touch them with someone ELSE’S penis. So give it up. Unplug your computer, change your underwear, and get out into the real world. Seek help.

Or else, you just might be single…

forever

#karmajonezknows

2 thoughts on “5 Responses to Ciara and Russell Wilson’s Engagement That Prove Y’all Ain’t Sh*t (And Will Be Single Forever)

  1. These comments are so ignorant, it makes me sad and disappointed. I thank God and my husband everyday because I’m so thankful that I don’t and will never ever date black males (REAL MEN DON’T ACT THIS WAY) of this generation. God bless Ciara and Russell Wilson, absolutely beautiful couple living, loving and enjoying life as they should, not concerning themselves with the negativity, it’s beautiful to see this awesome love story. ❤ Also most of these males wish they were Russell Wilson, he has it all, he’s smart, educated, intelligent, kind, faithful, handsome, loving, rich in many aspects not just money (Ciara has her own) and he could just about have any woman he wants but he’s in love with Ciara and I love it!😍

  2. I totally agree with your assessment. The black men that spread so much hate on this beautiful couple is sad. I pray to God Ciara and Russell ignore all the noise. I know there are more people rooting for them than against them. Pray for the these sorry black men. So sad!

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