Kanye vs. Amber & the NeverEnding Objectification/Slut Shaming of Women

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It’s been 6 years since Amber Rose and Kanye West have been romantically involved, but it’s crystal clear that Kanye is still traumatized by the breakup. I mean, he hasn’t smiled since-and I guess making all of that sad (but FIRE) music just didn’t get rid of the heartache. As we’ve all witnessed countless times before, Kanye just isn’t equipped to deal with his emotions in a civilized way. So, as expected, he did what a lot of men do when their egos are on the line–reduce women to their sexuality.

You see, Amber was probably at home, trying on a pair of new leggings, and chatting it up via text with her BFF Blac Chyna, when she logged into Twitter to find her ex calling her names and telling her baby daddy that he “owned” their son. I think we can all agree that Kanye crossed the line when he took it there. Most of us feel that Wiz’s son should have never entered the equation, but alas, here we are, clutching our pearls. And while much of what Kanye said was completely irreverent, what I think a lot of people are overlooking the unwarranted attacks against Amber.

If you recall, Kanye once said that he had to take 30 showers before sleeping with Kim K after dating Amber. As if that wasn’t enough, he was now on the Internet, teasing Wiz for getting “trapped by a stripper” and talking sh*t about the woman he once loved for all of his 18 million followers to see.

The first problem I have with this is his use of the word “stripper” as an insult. Strippers are people who get naked for money-sure. But isn’t that exactly what his wife does? Why is being a stripper any different than posing nude for a publication? And to be clear, none of these things makes a woman a bad person…or a good person, for that matter. Second, WHOEVER Amber has slept with before or after Kanye does not define her, and women shouldn’t have to bear the burden of men like Kanye’s insecurities.

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I wonder how many men, if women held them to the same silly standards, would be “hubby material?” How many men would be “worthy” of love, and “worthy” of respect?”  These double standards can’t continue, ESPECIALLY if it means that people will think it’s OK to disrespect a woman based on her sexual history or her occupation.

In this case, Kanye reduced Amber’s entire existence and attempted to minimize everything she’s ever done in life.

Not cool.

He trivialized her worth and value as a person, and that’s where the line needs to be drawn. Amber isn’t a killer, she didn’t slap Kanye’s  mama, and she didn’t run over someone’s puppy. She WAS a stripper. So what? And if she’s had sex with more than 3 men in her lifetime, SO WHAT?

Let’s be clear: The same Kanye that seems to be so disgusted by Amber Rose now, is the same Kanye who licked Amber’s bald head then.

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He tongued her down for photoshoots and grabbed a whole handful of her ass on numerous red carpets for the world to see.

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And now she’s trash? Nah.

But unfortunately, Kanye’s not the only one. There are plenty of men out here who only see women as objects. They walk around assigning value to women, as if they have the authority to do so, or any room to talk, for that matter. Somehow, they muster the audacity to point their fingers at women even if their pasts are just as “checkered.” To that, I say-“Nah.”

Everything becomes painfully obvious when you contemplate some men’s inappropriate  use of the word “mileage” to describe the condition of a woman’s vagina…as if we’re cars-property-a thing to possess. Essentially that’s what this is all about-ownership. Why else would they name their cars sh*t like “Sally”?

It would be great if we lived in a society where people were judged based off of how they treat people, what they contribute to society, etc., as opposed to who they’re sleeping with. I mean, whose business is it anyway? As long as there are two (or more-depending on what you’re in to) consenting adults present, there shouldn’t be an issue.

Think back to Ray J, circa 2013. He released a single called, “I Hit it First.”

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As most of you know, Ray and Kim made a much talked about sex tape that launched the young Kardashian into super stardom pretty much overnight. While I’m sure Kim would have preferred that we all just forget about it, Ray J simply wasn’t going to let that happen. He used his song to taunt Kim and Kanye, and appeared to have a good time doing it. Although Ray and Kim were in a relationship at the time, Kim would eventually be the ONLY one labeled a “whore.” Even after becoming a successful business woman, and building an impressive empire, she continues to live in the shadows of the infamous sex tape.

Also, let us not forget Charlie Sheen, and his epic Twitter rant/open letter to ex-wife Denise Richards. After their break up, the actor accused Denise of “sucking off” coyotes, and of course, accused her of being a whore. Or how about the recent Twitter feud Amy Schumer had with a 17-year-old movie aficionado, better known as “Lights Camera Jackson” after he tweeted out a picture of the two with this caption- ‘Spent the night with @amyschumer. Certainly not the first guy to write that.’

Schumer responded matter of factly, ‘I get it. Caue I’m a whore?’

I’m not really sure what the kid was thinking, but I assume he thought that because Amy TALKS about sex that she wouldn’t mind being objectified.  Well, she did, and for good reason.

The issue is, both men AND women have been programmed to believe that  women shouldn’t be sexual beings, and they definitely shouldn’t do it on their own terms. That’s the MAN’S job. It’s the man’s job to have sex with all the women he wants until HE’S ready to settle down and have mediocre sex with you for the rest of his life. While they’re out sowing their oats, you’re at home perfecting your recipes, sewing buttons on his shirts, reading the Bible, not drinking liquor, and DEFINITELY not having sex.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly OK if you ARE at home reading your Bible. I can’t hate on Jesus. And I’m certainly not advocating that everybody go out and sleep around, or become a stripper. But what I AM saying is it’s a choice that a grown woman has the right to make, and she shouldn’t be treated like or be made to feel like she’s gross because of it. That’s not fair. Hell, Maya Angelou was a sex worker, and isn’t she one of the most well respected, brilliant, highly sought after women of our time? Will we squat on her legacy because she valued her autonomy? Is SHE “damaged goods?”

I’ll end on this note-it would be ideal if men would stop acting like a woman isn’t worthy of their partnership because she’s chosen to express her sexuality. Because the truth is, if women used that same logic when dating, 95% of us would never get married. EVER. I think at the end of the day, if we just mind our business, drink water, and wear condoms, we’d all be much happier. Amber baby, keep being you, girl. Kanye, hon, reconsider.

What do you guys think about the whole thing? Comment below.

#karmajonezknows

 

 

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