8 Things I Learned About Dating from “The Perfect Guy”

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Like most of you, I couldn’t wait to go out and see The Perfect Guy. It had some of my favorite people in it, so I was excited about it’s debut. When I went to see it, I enjoyed it, but I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed. Aside from the very flat characters, and the forced storyline, I was highly disappointed in Sanaa’s poor dating decisions! Here’s what I learned (not to do).

1. Don’t send nudes…EVER

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These men cannot be trusted with your nudes. They’ll leak them quicker than Donald Trump can spew a racial slur. It’s not worth it. Your hot bod will be all over the the Internetz, my friend. And as we know, that’s permanent.

2. Do a background check

Sadly enough, you gotta Google these people you’re dating nowadays. A good ol’, “Where did you go to school”, “Who are your grandparents?”, and “What do you like to do in your spare time?” simply won’t suffice. Get ALL of his information baby. Down to the social security number if you can!

3.Your friends don’t be knowin’ what they talkin’ about

We all have em. Those friends who just have no clue what they’re talking about. They love giving out relationship advice to whoever will listen, and unfortunately, that’s typically YOU. In this movie, Sanaa’s friend gave her some horrible advice. She was basically like, “Yea girl, he’s not crazy. Don’t let him stalking you scare you off.” Here’s the lesson: at the end of the day, you have to go with your gut. Advice from friends is good, but it shouldn’t make or break you. They’re just there for the wine.

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4.But always tell those hussies where you are

Even though sometimes your friends don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, one thing’s for sure–they’re all nosy. Your friends love to be all up in your business, and all up in your love life. So they won’t mind when you send them texts describing your location. Send them the name and address of where you’ll be. Hell, just go ahead and drop a pin!

5.Mindblowing sex=Crazy Man/Woman

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Great sex? Mindblowing sex? 8/10 that penis (or vagina) is attached to a pyscho. Sanaa Lathan had some of the best sex she’s ever had with her lunatic boyfriend. She was dickmatized. Ladies, if he has great, life-changing, mmmmoohhhmygod sex, take a step back, and do some evaluation.

6.Get to reaaaallly know someone before they are allowed to come over

The first date is not at your house…or his. NO. No. NO. We are NOT Netlflix and chilling. We will be dating out in public where everyone can see us and hear me if I need to scream for help or signal that I’m with a crazy person.

6(a)When they come over, don’t be showing them where your spare key is

Sanaa showed this man where her spare key was. That’s a no no. And if you DO get to that point, and your man or woman has your spare key, make sure you move it when you break up!

7.No, you can’t have my passwords

I don’t trust you with my passwords. If anything goes wrong, you have access to everything. You can easily send emails, access my bank accounts, my pics, videos…my LIFE. No thank you. My password is there for a reason.

8. The grass ain’t always greener

As much as our partners get on out nerves, if they’ve been a great person 85% of the time, you just might be able to work it out. Because let me tell you, when you step foot back into the dating pit from Hades, you are bound to run into a few crazies. And when you try to leave them, they’ll be standing outside of your window repeating this Kanye-esque phrase until you call the cops. And then when the cops leave, they’ll return and do the same sh*t. (Because we all know the cops don’t protect people from harassment until they actually die)

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Welp! That’s what I took away from The Perfect Guy…what did you learn? Share below.

#karmajonezknows

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