Last night during one of the most bizarre VMA Awards shows to date, Kanye West made a confusing speech that was extremely hard to follow, and at the end of the speech, he announced his bid for Presidency. This doesn’t come as a surprise, given that Kanye pretty much believes he can do anything. And to be honest, he probably can. I don’t see why being the President of the United States should get crossed off of that list.
Ye’s speech, which was more like one long ass drunk text message, was sprinkled with a few jabs at MTV, a pseudo apology to Taylor Swift, and a friendly reminder of how much of a genius Kanye believes he is. There was also some weed references and the excessive use of the word “bro.”
As I reflect on Kanye’s speech and his run for Presidency, there are a few things I hope Kanye really considers when he’s sworn in as this nation’s new POTUS.
— Ahmed/I Miss Old Biz (@big_business_) August 31, 2015
1. We need cheaper Hennessy prices.
Mr. President, I’m sure you’d agree. Right now a bottle of Hennessy VS is gonna run me about $42. I’m not with it. Because this cognac is just so damn good, and apparently, essential for life, the price needs to come down. First order of business.
2. Help Us Get off the Slave Ship
Mr. President, so many of your fellow Americans feel JUST like you felt in this Spaceship video. Like, the working poor is a real thing. People who work long hours daily should be able to put food on their tables without worrying about what else they’re going to have to go without. We need more money. Make it happen, Captain.
3. Set Up a Scholarship Fund in Your Mama’s Name
When you make an entire album called “College Dropout” you have to at least do something to encourage these children to go to college. I mean, the reality is, not everyone can drop out of college and become Kanye West. Your mother, Dr. Donda West, who was a professor, would have LOVED this idea. So basically, I think you should send thousands of kids to college for free…YEARLY. This is like the most BASIC thing a country can do for its citizens…educate them. It’s only right.
4. Make Beyonce Vice President.
I just feel like you love Beyonce, and the world does too, so we gotta work her in there, somehow.
You stay hopping on stages to defend her honor, so let’s get her in the White House. #WestKnowles2020
5. Tell Us Who All the People Are in Congress and Everywhere Else That “Don’t Care About Black People.”
Point em out. Police. Legislators. Governors. Mayors. We wanna know. Matter fact, can you make them wear little red “R’s” on their clothes? It’s beginning to get a bit tiring…all this trying to figure out who is who. I know now that you’ve married Kim, you like to pretend you don’t know what racism is, but we still have faith in you because we remember when you did this.
6. And Last But Not Least: Have Donald Trump Exiled.
And Bill O’Reilly, Sarah Palin, Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter…oh and Don Lemon. Take him too. Who would be willing to take them? I don’t know. Maybe Switzerland? I heard their racism rating is a 5/5.
If you wanna see Kanye’s full VMA’s speech, click below.
Full Kanye speech RT to save a life and open some eyes
— rachel ≈ (@rachelrosee_) August 31, 2015