So if you haven’t heard, the rumors are true. Drake and Serena are officially a couple, and I’m beside myself. I absolutely adore the both of them, and now that they’ve come together in perfect harmony, I’m not sure my soul can take all this joy.
It must feel good to be Drake. I mean…look at him. That’s the laugh of a man who has not a care in the world. I can see his molars, for God’s sake.
Here are 5 Reasons Why I’m Here for this Union:
1. Drake wore this Carlton Banks sweater to one of Serena’s tennis matches, and is clapping like he’s at the Gothenburg Symphony Orchestra Concert. This proves that his love for Serena runs deep.
2. He probably writes Serena some dope ass poems. She deserves it.
But seriously, can you imagine all the bomb ass poems Serena gets in her mailbox, or even via text? I bet Drake could write the panties off damn near ANY woman. If we could see Drake’s texts, I’m sure this is what they’d look like.
3. He seems to actually LIKE women. Drake is one of the few rappers who doesn’t actually appear to be disgusted by women. Definitely not a misogynist. He’s totally a guy you could take home to mom. If you don’t believe me, here’s a compilation of some of Drake’s most sensitive lyrics. Look at him, he’s probably missing Serena as we speak. He can’t even focus!
4. If they have a baby, the baby will take over the world, & dethrone all the other baby royals.
Ummmmm excuse me Blue Ivy and North West, move over. There’s a new super baby in town, and I don’t know if you girls are ready for this one! How amazing would a baby that has Drake genes and Serena genes be? Drake is the hottest rapper in the game, and Serena is the best tennis player…EVER. Just wait on it.
5. THEY MAD
Let’s be real. Ladies Love Drake. He’s the new LL Cool J.
Women of all races, backgrounds, and ages are trying to get them a piece of Drake bae. And apparently, some people don’t feel like Serena “deserves” Drake. But of course, haters gon’ hate.
Idk why drake and serena williams are "dating" …. like why drake. She manly af 😳😐
— lex ✨ (@lexileex) August 24, 2015
If a nigga think Serena Williams look good Ima assume he gay cause she so manly Looking. Same with dej loaf. Them bitches look like niggas
— L E S L I (@aye_lesliiii) August 24, 2015
She's big and bulky and manly. Drake could do SO much better than Serena Williams. https://t.co/lBOdtqLo4R
— GABRIELLE SEUNAGAL ☠ (@ClassySnobbb) January 12, 2016
Here y'all go tryna say Drake and Serena Williams are having a baby, I'll fight her ol manly man ass😒
— . (@DearDajaa_) October 27, 2015
Drake loves manly ass bitches first Teyana Taylor now Serena Williams that nigga gay.
— j silverio (@xjosesilverio) September 18, 2015
Drake for Serena manly ass 🚮 https://t.co/yxGpcNLbOE
— karin👸🏽💚 (@DaRealKarinn) October 26, 2015
Here’s an exclusive image of Serena not giving a f*ck:
6. When they break up, we’re getting another fiyah ass album from Drake.
Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t wish a nasty break up on ANYBODY. But let’s be real. These are celebrities, and most of them get married for 90 days, ruin each other’s lives and move on to their next victim within in days of the break up. I reealllly hope that doesn’t happen…but if it does…Drake’s next album will be