6 Reasons Gay Marriage Isn’t Ruining The Sanctity of Your Marriage

nah

Since the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage can no longer be banned nationwide, this country has been divided like a stripper’s legs on a Saturday night. Many argue that “the gays” are ruining the sanctity of marriage. But I have something to say about that.

1.Straight people get divorced. (The Bible says you can’t do that.) But as with  most things in the Bible…it’s up to your interpretation.

My parents are divorced. They should be. Sh*t happens.

bye

2.A lot of these gay couples who are flocking to the alter, or the courthouse, or WHEREVER have been together way longer than a lot of straight couples.

Britney Spears and high school friend Jason Allen Alexander, 2 days; Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, 9 days; Gregg Allman and Cher, 9 days; Rudolph Valentino and Jean Acker, 6 hours; Robert Evans and Catherine Oxenberg, 12 days; Jeremy Thomas and Drew Barrymore, 29 days; Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine, 38 days; Janet Jackson and James DeBarge, 4 months.

https://twitter.com/cbs11jack/status/614493530145226752/photo/1

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Reverend Linda Hunsaker presides over the wedding of Vivian Boyack, left, and Alice Dubes, center, in Davenport. Photograph: Thomas Geyer/AP

3.The number of people being abused in marriages is pretty high.

About 5 million women are physically abused by their husbands each year. (But the Bible says you can’t divorce, so…yea. You have to stick it out.)

4.People be cheatin.’

cheating

Everything from Ashley Madison to Meet to Cheat there are hundreds of hookup sites online that encourage extramarital affairs that straight people visit…like all the time.

5.Some straight people can’t reproduce

A common argument I’ve been seeing is that gay people can’t reproduce, so they shouldn’t get married. Well that argument sucks. I happen to know of a few women who can’t get pregnant, as well as a few men who have very uncooperative “little swimmers” that make it practically impossible for them to make a baby. What’s your explanation for THAT?

6.Polyamory & Polygamy

Polyamory means “many loves.” It is the practice of engaging in several emotionally and possibly sexually intimate relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It differs from polygamy, which means “many marriages”—usually “many wives.” Guess what? A lot of straight people are doin’ this.

So I guess what I’m trying to say here is that gay people didn’t have anything to do with this. Gays aren’t ruining the sanctity of your marriage…YOU are. They aren’t “ruining” anything that hasn’t already been “ruined” by the people who had it first. Essentially, marriage has been used and abused…it’s a hand-me-down.

#karmajonezknows

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