Dear Shonda: #TGIT Almost Killed Me

scandal

Dear Shonda,

Hey girl. I know you’re probably still in bed. Maybe you’re a little hungover from celebrating #TGIT last night. And that’s OK, because the celebration needed to be had.

I just wanted to write and tell you how you snatched my wig with that new episode of #Scandal yesterday. See, I wasn’t expecting what happened to Olivia back there. Girl when the scene opened up with Olivia running down that hallway, tattered and weave flying every which a way, I didn’t know WHAT had gone down!

Chile, I dropped my sandwich back on the plate, grabbed the remote and turned the volume ALL the way up!

Then when I saw Olivia lying down in that cell like that, I just bout passed out! My heart couldn’t take it. I wanted to jump through the TV and wipe her down with Dove soap and some Johnson’s and Johnson’s! I wanted so badly to comb her hair and give her some Carmex. You took me through the motions!

Then there was Ian. Her roommate. He was…sketchy. But Olivia befriended him. She gave him way too much information, and I yelled at my TV: “Shut up Olivia!” I was pissed. She needed to focus. She was off her game.

Then when you had Olivia sit on that God forsaken toilet, I had just about had enough. I couldn’t TAKE seeing Olivia like this! I wanted to Lysol my television, but I didn’t think that would be a good idea. Then finally, Olivia had a break through! She was gonna break out of that nasty prison with her bra underwire! I could finally breathe, because THIS was the Olivia Pope that I knew! But she was caught! You ruined my life 10 minutes later when you showed the only window she had access to closed shut with BRICKS.

I hollered at the TV screen! Those summamab*thces!

They shot Ian. In cold blood.

Then FINALLY, Ms. Pope found something in the bathroom to knock her captor CLEAN out. I was excited! She opened the door, and WOP! He was down for the count. She grabbed his gun and the keys and jetted down that corridor like Jackie Joyner Kersee. I screamed, “Run girl! Run!”

THEN, the other bad guy stood between Olivia and the door. And like a real OG, Ms. Pope sent one shot to his head. He was out like a light. She was finally FREE! Finally through the big red door! She started to run, and BAM! She ran into a screen. Ian appeared. It was all a game. A charade. She was STILL THERE…with “Ian.” *mouth ajar*

*fans self* My goodness, Ms. Shonda. I don’t know how you do it. I’m gonna need some heart medicine to watch your shows. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to TAKE it! I threw my head back on my pillow trying to comprehend what I had just seen, and just like that, we were in to “How to Get Away with Murder.” I fainted.

#karmajonezknows

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