10 Things You Own That Let You Know You Might Be a Douchebag

selfiestick

 

1. Selfie Stick

I think this is pretty self explanatory….but I’ll explain. If you were in the middle of taking your thousandth selfie and you paused and thought to yourself, “I really need a selfie stick”…you’re a douchebag.

2. Cigars

You don’t inhale them. They’re just to look cool. Admit it.

3. A BMW (Especially a Blue One)

According to TheWeek.com: A poll conducted by the discount website VoucherCodesPro in the U.K asked 2,837 British drivers to answer questions about the make, model, and color of their cars, and how often they experienced road rage.

The conclusion: The biggest ragers were men, age 35-50, with blue BMWs.

4. Pet Clothes

Your dog doesn’t need boots…a hat…or a diamond dog collar. Jerk.

5. Google Glasses

I don’t think I need to say much more about this than: If I see you with some Google glasses on, I will be fighting the urge to slap them off of your face. I guess then, I’d be the douchebag, huh?

6. BlueTooth Headsets

Oh, ok. You can talk on your phone with no hands, and your blue light blinks, too! Cool! And now these bluetoothers have taken things one step further with their neck phone thingy’s. You guys know what I’m talking about!

7. Fedoras

I know, because I have one. Total douchebag accessory.

8. Beats By Dre Headphones

Listen, I’m super excited that Dr. Dre has gotten filthy rich behind these headphones…but where are you going in these gigantic headphones regular person who works at the bank???

9. Energy Drinks

We get it. We get it. You work sooo hard and you’re sooo tired all the time. No, I don’t want a Red Bull or a Monster…thanks for asking. Great. Now your douchebaggerry will be multiplied by 10.

10. White Sunglasses

What is this? An episode of Jersey Shore? Scram!

And  last but not least, a VERY honorable mention goes to:

Datta Phuge of India. He commissioned this shirt in 2012. It’s made of pure gold, white velvet, and Swarovski crystal buttons. Apparently, 15 goldsmiths worked 16 hours a day over the course of two weeks to finish this piece. Smh

goldshirt

 

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